I sit on the floor with all my colours around me. Crayons, pencils, paints .. my tools. A big blank white page before me. Ohhhh my view is all time and it’s timeless too! Its infinite! So much fun to see and play and feel this picture.. the anticipation in this simple design….. because I can see it all before I even touch the page. All the colours! Circles I draw for the stars… millions and millions of them, one at a time, they are all there, I draw with care, and I know them all. They are like many homes to me… comfort, love, knowledge, all my ever-colours.

The page has an invitation for me to draw inside itself too… explore it’s dimensions and beyond. I dive into the page and spin and whirl around this universe.. a massive white page in all directions coloured with stars. I touch each star gently and it dances alive into the light of itself and then woosh! lights up its own sky and lands into the next star! On and on and on it goes, I explore, I laugh, I cry and I know on my adventure that each star has its own hue, its own story and its own universal plan. So, in the igniting we explore, laugh, cry and know together, me and these stars. I am alive, alive! alive!!! in this!

I twirl into each meeting and see its delicate features. Each light.. touching stars, touching another.. its is my joy, my freedom my constellations of many Home as light rays, it’s a beautiful, oh so delicate and vibrantly strong structure. I can move on each light ray, hopping, weaving, leaping through this big star universe in any direction. We are intimately lit together, we are intimately in motion together, me and these stars.

I can see that someone has tried to trace part of my drawing. They copied my designs, my patterns.. on to a thin film of transparent empty sheet… it is not white. They took my stars and made them something they are not… I am so, so, so sad. They made a pattern inside mine and they have slipped it inside my universe like a transparent glove or an acetate with its own energy. It overlayed on part of my picture, it enveloped some of the stars I have known and extinguished their light. My beautiful stars! The friends I’ve coloured, the ones I have known, the lights I have touched, the ones I have loved and poured time into with such care… And, like an intricate web of iron fused scaffolding, it has pulled, yanked, tugged and ripped through my drawing, dragging parts of the whole asunder… it hurts so much! My drawing! My creation!

The light rays that are so, so pure are trying to hold the drawing all together.. they become stretched and drawn… and I can see the imposter sketch that has sneaked and creaked into.. and destroyed and strangled my creation, pretending to be what I have made, feigning…. sneaky traced copies that are not of my hand. The white Pretender. And I have had to watch it tear down the build. Some of the stars just got washed away.. not a gentle dissolve.. no. It’s more like perfect sand-art castles created over aeons, annihilated in pounding storm waves, just because they were pure, and just because they could be destroyed. The power to take, asserted in this hideous slinker. The dark hands that ripped at all morsels.. the angry emotionless tentacles that have gripped at the neck and choked the life out, choked the light out. It takes my breath away to see it all, and feel it so deeply. My eviscerated creation… my heart breaks in such profound and infinite grief for these stars. We were family, we were one. The loss! My beautiful picture that I know……… manipulated. Its integrity altered.

And… because the original structure is always there, the original drawing, and because always in my creating, there is an ‘and’.. more of a view, and more dots and more colour and more sparkles and more depth and more thresholds of higher art… so I know there is more to this picture… beyond those thresholds, beyond this hold.

And there is where I am now looking, now sitting, now as my body…. where I can see what was in that first light, what was of me, to begin the drawing, what was in me to keep fighting the imposter artist…. that imposter drawing, the sneaky transparent acetate. And what is in me beyond the fight. What is in this picture beyond the tear-down.

This picture that is clear, this light that I drew… the lights that first touched each star from this heart of mine are in action now, my drawing alive. The electrical crayon lines that are the whole, true structure, begin to rise and spin and activate themselves, from the power of the art itself,

Because I always knew… and the white depths always had the invitation of “and there’s more to draw…”

So, now, it’s like a massive orb drawing, my maps were right.. my work was precise, all the artists of all the constellations have added their brushstrokes, their home expression is alive in this… and anyone can dive in and see the art, be the art.

It has dynamism, speed, it has a voice it has sound. It has a heartbeat. Those crayon marks as lines of light are wavelengths, they are alive and true within each stars heart, true to another, they are powerful, they hum with excitement, and each star heart smiles, itself part of the picture, part of the creation, part of my big universal map drawing that knows no end.

The constellations of these homes are lifted. I stand back to view. My crayons in hand, and so my art rises, it rotates so that all aspects are in view.

It has its own motion.

And.. my drawing is done.

And.. my heart can sing.